Most people don't understand the difference between being
transgendered and being transsexual. So, I'll explain it. Transgendered
means you're born anatomically one sex but psychologically the opposite sex.
Transsexual means the same thing. The difference is that a transsexual seeks
a surgical solution. A transgendered individual is happy if he or she can
live according to the way he or she feels inside.

No one knows what causes anyone to be transgendered or transsexual.
All I know is that as early as I can recall I wanted to be a girl. I can't
explain it any better than anyone can explain why they were born heterosexual
or left handed.

At the age of 25 years old, I began taking female hormones. Later, I
found work as a woman. The hormones made me sterile and impotent. I no
longer had to worry about gaining an erection while I wore tight slacks. I
would have no more erections.

I also developed feminine breasts and curves -- wider hips and
buttocks. I didn't menstruate. However, every month I experienced some of
the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). The symptoms included water
retention, irritability, moodiness and heightened emotions.

I met Mistress Tanya when I was 30 years old. I was the first
transgendered woman she had ever met. She was very impressed, but couldn't
understand why I had not had a sex change operation. I told her that I was
and had always been a woman in mind, heart and spirit. Surgery could never
change my identity. She accepted my explanation. She also accepted me as a
submissive.

My attire was simple. I wore 4-inch high heels, thigh hi stockings, a
black silk thong, a white micro mini-skirt, and a white laced shelf-bra that
left my nipples exposed. Mistress Tanya insisted that I wear these garments
whenever I was in her presence. It made it impossible for me to bend even
slightly without exposing my bottom. To retain the very little modesty left
to me, the outfit necessitated that I be a perfect lady at all times.

The belief that opposites attract is clearly demonstrated through the
relationship between a dominant and a submissive. For the Mistress, the joy
is the ability to be assertive, controlling and dominant. For the submissive,
the joy is the ability to be docile, controlled and submissive. For me,
submissiveness creates a sense of euphoria. I am completely removed of the
stress that I associate with thinking and with making decisions. My purpose
and function in life is made erotically simple: I serve my mistress.

The clientele that frequented Mistress Tayna's dungeon were generally
well-to-do Long Islanders. Several of her patrons owned businesses in
Manhattan but resided in the affluent town of Southampton, located on the
eastern most part of Long Island. Some of her slaves were celebrities who I
am not permitted to identify.

On Friday nights, a master would visit Mistress Tanya to discuss
whatever it is that dommes and masters talk about when together. My function
was always the same. I would greet the master and direct him into the very
elegantly furnished living room. Then I would serve him two shots of
Glenlivet unblended scotch and perform oral sex on him until he finished his
drink. When he placed the empty glass down, my orders were to straddle him
and ride his male member until he climaxed. Afterwards, I would thank him for
the pleasure and go fetch Mistress Tanya.

The sex was routine but I enjoyed it. The master was rather well
endowed and deliciously thick. He felt good inside me.

The master never spoke to me and I wasn't allowed to converse with
him, except to say, "Thank you, master." No other words were ever exchanged
between us.

An hour later, the master left. Mistress Tanya escorted him to the
front door. Then she rang her bell. This was my signal to attend to her.
When I appeared in the living room, she ordered me to kneel at her feet.

"You were a rather good girl this evening," she commented approvingly.
You seem to be well pleased with the master's cock."

"Yes, mistress," I replied. "The master is very nicely endowed."

"I watched the two of you and must confess that your activity left me
quite aroused," she reported. "Have you ever given head to another woman?"

"No, mistress," I replied, nearly at a whisper, "I have never even
been intimate with another woman."

"Well, then," she replied with a commanding tone of voice, "it's time
you learn. I might need you to deliver the same service to a mistress that
you so eagerly deliver to the master."

At that point, Mistress Tanya parted her thighs and revealed that she
had not been wearing a panty. Her private was glistening and fully exposed.

"Eat me," she ordered.

At first I was quite repelled at the thought of kissing and licking my
mistress. However, after a few minutes of hearing her responses, I began to
enjoy pleasing my mistress in this manner.

It took me a little over a half hour to bring her to a climax.
However, I'm certain it was quite intense because she immediately excused me
-- telling me that I could return to my room for the remainder of the evening.

Since that evening I attend to my mistress in this way several times a
week. I look forward to the master's Friday night visits, but as a bisexual
submissive my Mistress finds me of far more value.

FEMALE SUB

The Planting Fields located in Oyster Bay, on Long
Island, is easily one of the most beautiful sites on Earth. It
consists of 409 acres landscaped with an incredible variety of
exotic flowers and plants.

It was May and a perfect time to visit the wonderful
garden.

Mistress Tanya had instructed that I prepare a picnic
lunch. As instructed, I prepared a small banquet befitting two
sophisticated ladies. Our tiny feast included a bottle of
Cabernet Sauvignon and an appropriate amount of Gouda
cheese.

It had been 5 years since my previous trip to the Planting
Fields. At that time, I was still living as a male. Today, in my
cut-offs and string tee-shirt, I was decidedly female.

We did not follow the trail carefully marked for visitors
and tourists. Instead we cut across the field to an area near to
a clearing where hippies had once held their 'happenings'
back in the late sixties.

Hippies were mostly young people who had adopted a philosophy of peace
and promiscuity -- an anti-establishment
crusade often fueled by marijuana, wine and mind altering
drugs. A 'happening' was simply a joyful event. Today, the
fear of AIDS had chased away the spirit of free love, and
conservatism had chased away the spirit of individuality.
These days few people ventured into these parts of the
Planting Fields.

My mistress is a beautiful woman. At the time she was
only 20-years old -- 10 years my junior. She stood 5-feet and
8-inches tall but only weighed 125 pounds. She measured
36C - 24 - 38 and was considered remarkably curvaceous for
one who carried such a slender and delicate frame.

On this day, she wore a silk shell and a long broom skirt
that was easily translucent against the sunlight. Even a casual
observer could detect that she wore neither a slip, nor a panty.
I envied her boldness as much as her sense of freedom. I, of
course, always wore a thong to conceal what remained of my
male appendage. It was considerably smaller than it had been
before I began taking female hormones. Still, it needed to be
kept secret so as not to reveal my original sex.

Mistress Tanya stood and watched as I prepared the area
for our lunch. I spread the blankets across what appeared to
be the most comfortable area, then set out the foods and
eating utensils. Our wine glasses rested on two books.

After our lunch, Mistress lay on her back with her knees
raised. She seemed very pleased and satisfied.

"I'm glad you brought the wine glasses," she commented.
"I was afraid we'd be drinking wine out of paper cups. You've
been a good hostess and a good girl."

"Thank you, mistress," I answered, quite pleased that she
was kind enough to compliment my efforts.

"Are you smiling?" she asked.

"Yes, mistress."

"Tell me why."

"Because it makes me happy to know I have pleased
you, mistress," I answered.

Mistress did not reply. She raised the hem of her skirt to
her waist and said, "Attend to my pearl."

I immediately moved to position my head between her
parted thighs. Then, I licked, kissed, sucked and savored the
treasure of her feminine passage. Twenty minutes later, she
sighed at the relief brought to her through the orgasm my
tongue and lips had delivered.

"That was wonderful, Roberta!"

"Thank you, mistress," I whispered. "Again, I am happy to
please you."

"Yes, you're a very good girl and a very skillful pet," she
replied.

It was euphoric to watch the smile upon her face. Her
happiness had become my happiness -- her contentment
mine.

"Tell me something, Roberta," she began. "Are there any
pleasurable feelings left in your male part? Are you able to
become erect?"

"No, mistress," I answered almost apologetically. "It has
become useless, sexually."

"So your anus has become your portal or pleasure," she
inquired.

"Yes, mistress."

"So, you do not regret your decision to become my
female pet," she inquired."

"No, mistress," I responded with considerable
enthusiasm. I have absolutely no desire to have any part with
being a male. My happiness is in being female, particularly
since I belong to you.

"I shall determine this for myself," she replied.

Then she removed several clamping clothes pins from
her bag and ordered me to remove my cut-offs and thong. I
did as she ordered.

"Sit with your thighs parted," she commanded. Again, I
obeyed her instructions explicitly.

Mistress Tanya caressed my male appendage for several
minutes and was delighted to see it could not respond to her
loving touch. Then she began attaching the clothes pins to
areas of my scrotum and male shaft. The pain was
excruciating and soon caused me to writhe and perspire.

She sat and watched me wince -- my misery clearly
evident in my face.

"I do this because I love you, Roberta," she commented.
"It is one thing to become a woman and another to be
dedicated to being a woman. I must know that your dedication
is genuine and that I have made a woman of you for the rest
of your life."

"I understand, mistress," I replied -- the pain undeniably in
my tone of voice.

"Would you like me to remove them now?" she asked.

"Yes, mistress! Yes, mistress! Please!" I begged.
"Please remove them!"

She smiled, then said, "You need only tell me that you
want to be a man, and I will remove them."

"I am not a man," I yelled. "I have no desire to be a man,
and I will never be a man again, mistress."

I closed my eyes, grimaced, but refused to utter a single
word. It seemed that hours had passed, but my mistress later
informed me that she had only kept the clothespins on an
additional 15-minutes.

I cannot explain the relief I felt as she slowly and carefully
removed each clothespin. My entire body was covered with
perspiration. Still, I managed a smile and managed to thank
her.

"Feel fortunate that you have passed my test," she
explained. "If you had said one word about being a male, I
would have dismissed you as my female pet."

"I will never disappoint you, Mistress Tanya," I replied. "It
would be as much a disappointment to you as to myself. I am,
and shall always be, a dedicated female submissive.

She smiled and watched as I packed her belongings. I
followed a few steps to her rear as we exited through the field
of flowers.

MISTRESS TANYA

I was introduced to Mistress Tanya through Mistress Mir.
Ms. Mir is a practitioner of the arts of bondage and discipline, as
well as sadomasochism, collectively referred to as BDSM.

Mistress Mir is an elegant African American woman who
resides in New Jersey. She owns one of the most elaborately
fitted dungeons in the United States, and has been a practitioner
of BDSM for more than 25 years.

Mistress Tanya is a Latin America mistress who wanted to
discuss what she believed was her crowning achievement: the
total feminization of a submissive male. Our interview took place
at her home in Westbury, New York -- an upper middle class
region of Long Island.


Roberta Angela Dee (RAD): Looking at your home, it is obvious
that you treasure fine and delicate works of art. How does one
who treasures such delicate works become a practitioner of the
brutal art of BDSM.

Mistress Tanya (Ms. T): It's a misconception to believe that
BDSM is totally concerned with brutality and pain. It is mostly a
relationship based on love and trust, as well as an appreciation
for the beautiful bond that can exist between two human being.
In that sense, it is very much like a fine and delicate work of art.

RAD: And what led you to become a Mistress?

Ms. T: The cost of living on Long Island is quite high. Many
years ago, I began supplementing my income through
prostitution. As a prostitute, I developed a clientele of
submissives. These submissives eventually became my focus because they were
willing to pay more for my services and did
not require sex.

RAD: That's a pretty good arrangement. So, if not for sex, why
did they come to you?

Ms. T: Because they wanted to be dominated. That's what
being a submissive is all about. It's about relinquishing your
freedom to a superior individual in exchange for their love,
guidance and protection.

RAD: Protection? Protection from what?

Ms. T: Protection from a world where they are forced to think
and make decision. Some people reach a point in their lives
where they just wish to obey. Many of my clients are responsible
leaders and business people. They lead and make decisions all
day. Their responsibilities can be enormous. Within the
environment of my dungeon, they are protected from their world.

RAD: I'm not sure I understand. Wouldn't it be just as easy for
them to take a vacation or sit at home watching the boob tube --
Barbara Walters or MSNBC?

Ms. T: (laughing) They certainly could, if all they wanted was
mindless entertainment. However, you must remember that most
of these people are complex individuals who seek complex
relationships. Being submissive does not mean being mindless.

RAD: I understand. Now, let's cut to the chase. Why do you
refer to yourself as the Mistress of Mistresses? Is it vanity or is
there some basis to your claim?

Ms. T: I refer to myself as the Mistress of Mistresses -- at least
in the United States, because I believe I have achieved what no
other American mistress has achieved -- the total feminization of
a submissive male.

RAD: Why is that such a significant achievement? And what
precisely have you done that has not been achieved by any other
American mistress?

Ms. T: In the culture of BDSM, there is an activity referred to as
"forced feminization." It usually involves a submissive cross-
dresser. The cross dresser is usually required to wear a few
articles of female clothing or undergarments. In the more
dramatic instances, the submissive is actually trained to be a
maid.

There are several mistresses with live-in maids who are feminized
males. Off hand, I can think of Mistress Scarlet De Medici,
Mistress Julie of Maryland, Mistress Kitten and Lady Payne.
They each have at least one maid who is male but forced to
serve and to dress as a female maid.

RAD: So, what have you done that is any different from what
the mistresses you've mentioned?

Ms. T: I emasculated the male submissive and left him with no
choice but to live as a woman, Miss Dee. I know of no other
mistress in the United States who has accomplished this.

RAD: OK. Well, who are we talking about? And before I ask
you anything else, please tell me why do you consider this to be
an accomplishment.

Ms. T: His name was Edgar S. He now lives and works as
Elizabeth S.

RAD: So, he's no longer your submissive.

Ms. T: Well, he's no longer a he. But to answer your question:
No. She's no longer my submissive.

RAD: And to get back to my earlier question: Why do you
consider Edgar's emasculation to be an accomplishment?

Ms. T: Well, Roberta, it has to do with the role of women in our
society. Most women adapt to a culturally oppressive society that
demeans the significance of women and those things that are
important to women. Few women recognize or accept
themselves as actually being superior to men. And the reason
they don't, Roberta, is because they are culturally conditioned to
accept a more submissive position in society.

>From my perspective, the act of emasculating a male is actually
doing him a favor. He becomes superior by becoming more
feminine. Unfortunately, most men will only allow themselves to
be feminized to a point. They acquire just enough femininity to
satisfy their fetishtic sexuality. There is, however, an enormous
difference between being a sissy maid and being a woman.

You can train a man to be a very good sissy maid in less than a
week, Roberta. It took two years to develop Elizabeth to the
point where she could live and work as a woman, and function in
society as a female.

RAD: I can understand that there's a whole lot more involved in
doing what you've done, Mistress Tanya. But could you have
done it if Elizabeth had not been a willing participant? And have
you really accomplished something that no other mistress could
accomplish if she had the right subject?

Ms. T: (pauses, thinking) Well, I certainly had to encourage
Edgar to commit to becoming female and not just a sissy maid.
That took a good deal of persuasion and behavior modification. I
made it clear that he would be rewarded only for those things he
did that embraced femininity. And as he progressed, I made it
more difficult for him to receive a reward. By the time I was done
with him, he wanted to become a woman.

Now, whether any other Mistress could have accomplished this, I
can think of only a very few. And they would have to be willing to
devote a good deal of time -- assuming they had a willing subject.

RAD: Is a willing subject so difficult to find?

Ms. T: (laughs) Most definitely! You have to remember, I
supplied Elizabeth with female hormones. Within 6 months, she
had pronounced female breasts. She could no longer achieve an
erection and was completely and permanently sterile. Most men
would not be willing to surrender their ability to achieve an
erection.

RAD: How did you manage to persuade Elizabeth to continue
taking female hormones?

Ms. T: Well, I didn't initially know about all of the side effects of
taking female hormones. I didn't realize that she would become
more emotional, that her skin texture would change, or that her
bottom would get larger. So, it was a learning process for both
she and I.

Initially, I would strike her penis with a leather strap, if she
responded to photographs of nude females or to videos of nude
women. Eventually, she stopped responding. I thought it was
because of my behavior modification techniques. In reality, it was
that the hormones had left her chemically castrated.

At that point, I began telling her that to relieve her sexual
frustrations she would need to learn how to physically respond as
a female.

RAD: How did you go about teaching her?

Ms. T: Well, she already had developed an appreciable amount
of sensitivity in her breasts. So, I encouraged her to fondle them
while fingering her anus. Eventually, she learned how to make
herself climax in that matter. Next, I introduced her to my strap-
on dildo. She enjoyed this immensely and was soon telling me of
dreams she had of being with a real man. I knew, immediately, of
course that she was hinting that she wanted a male lover.

RAD: Did you provide her with a male companion?

Ms. T: Of course! I had a male slave who was more than willing
to have his cock sucked by a willing female. And he was more
than happy to screw her afterwards. In fact, the more he crewed
her, the more feminine and womanly she became.

RAD: I can just imagine. So, how did the decision come about
for her to leave?

Ms. T: Ironically, whereas she was quite happy to be a
submissive male, she was not nearly as happy being a
submissive female. She wanted the right to choose -- particularly
her own sexual mate.

The separation, however, was very amicable. She still
corresponds with me from time to time, and she telephones
occasionally.

RAD: And how is she doing?

Ms. T: She's doing quite well for herself. She manages a gift
shop here on Long Island. She participates in civic functions and
lives with a fairly successful gentleman. Basically, she's become
a working housewife.